Are you into dinosaurs? How about ninja's? What about hookers and pimps? Well I'll tell you what, this movie has an abundance of all three, and it couldn't be any more entertaining.
Full disclosure, I turned this movie on with the complete expectation that it would be amazing. Having heard about it's ridiculous campy-ness from some close friends, I was extremely excited to sit down and view this flick. It did not disappoint. Velocipastor is chock full of campy horror, intentional and unintentional comedy, a story line ripped straight from the ether, and some terrible acting. It's a B Movie masterpiece that should have netted the director an Oscar for using his micro-budget to the fullest. Bravo Brendan Steere, bravo.
This films starts out almost immediately with the greatest explosion visual effects that any movie goer has ever witnessed. The stunt itself looks like it may have taken a large portion of the budget, and was extremely well done. This explosion had me hooked for the rest of the movie, and really puts this thing over the top. That is not to say that the rest of the effects are bad.
The dinosaur effects and the shape-shifting effects are amazing as well. Mr. Steere really went all in on his micro budget, making this film as entertaining as it could possibly have been. If you want a taste of this movies brilliance, check out the TRAILER HERE. The dinosaur effects were terrifyingly humorous and really did the movie justice. They kept it fun and interesting with the dinosaur scenes, and really made it seem to trouble the main character.
Now, I do not advocate prostitution in any form. But that being said, if you are going to be a prostitute, you should probably try to hook up with a shape shifting Velocipastor. It really seems like the only way to go. The scenes that were just these two characters are cinematic gold. Oh, and make sure to pay attention during the confession scenes as well, they are plot heavy, and are also amazingly hilarious.
Now to the ninjas. There fighting style is what I would call "accidental drunken monk." Now I cannot either confirm or deny that this was done on purpose, but I woud suspect it has something to do with the talent of actor you get at the tiny budget level this film was made with. But that does not hinder the film. The ninja scenes and all of the fight scenes in general appear to have been well choreographed and actually enhance the this flick immensely. Great job to all involved, given the limitations of what you had to work with.
From a plot and setting standpoint, this movie has it all. Action, Love, Flashbacks, Drama. I mean this thing is a veritable masterpiece. For a B Movie to be this well done, on such a minor budget is astounding. This movie is on Sharknado's level to be honest. I think it will become a cult classic over the next few years.
Overall, I give this film a Solid B. Which, incidentally is the highest grade I give out, because a B movie is always better than an A. This is a must watch. To be honest, I will be disappointed if you don'g immediately go and watch this movie. Don't disappoint Captain Bamba, or you'll walk the plank.
Come back next Wednesday for a review on the 2008 classic Zombie Strippers featuring Jenna Jameson and Robert Englund.
-Captain Bamba, film critic extraordinaire
FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER @bamba_captain
FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM bamba_captain
Sign up for email updates to the blog---------------------------------------------------------------------->
(You will be automatically entered to win free BAMBASWAG when I run promotions)
Now, I do not advocate prostitution in any form. But that being said, if you are going to be a prostitute, you should probably try to hook up with a shape shifting Velocipastor. It really seems like the only way to go. The scenes that were just these two characters are cinematic gold. Oh, and make sure to pay attention during the confession scenes as well, they are plot heavy, and are also amazingly hilarious.
Now to the ninjas. There fighting style is what I would call "accidental drunken monk." Now I cannot either confirm or deny that this was done on purpose, but I woud suspect it has something to do with the talent of actor you get at the tiny budget level this film was made with. But that does not hinder the film. The ninja scenes and all of the fight scenes in general appear to have been well choreographed and actually enhance the this flick immensely. Great job to all involved, given the limitations of what you had to work with.
From a plot and setting standpoint, this movie has it all. Action, Love, Flashbacks, Drama. I mean this thing is a veritable masterpiece. For a B Movie to be this well done, on such a minor budget is astounding. This movie is on Sharknado's level to be honest. I think it will become a cult classic over the next few years.
Overall, I give this film a Solid B. Which, incidentally is the highest grade I give out, because a B movie is always better than an A. This is a must watch. To be honest, I will be disappointed if you don'g immediately go and watch this movie. Don't disappoint Captain Bamba, or you'll walk the plank.
Come back next Wednesday for a review on the 2008 classic Zombie Strippers featuring Jenna Jameson and Robert Englund.
-Captain Bamba, film critic extraordinaire
FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER @bamba_captain
FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM bamba_captain
Sign up for email updates to the blog---------------------------------------------------------------------->
(You will be automatically entered to win free BAMBASWAG when I run promotions)
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